SaManThA's LiFe

2012-02-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

I really dont know wat i'm trying to do.
i just wanna know am I still in ur plan.
But, somehow u think I giving u pressure.

I have decide to stop my college guys!
I decide to save money and go back..
But, by that time When I go back maybe i'm single lu..

I'm not always prefect.
Maybe everything I can handle but come to love,
I'm a loser..
I am prepare now to take this bad news.
I know is pain.
I need time to handle my emotion soon.
Give me time!

I hope I dont need to change my fb status to single.
Now only I know if only one people is running the other person is walking,
they both will never come to same place!
Even how hard a person try it will never works.
I know u already think and judge that we not match.
I know u like me. But, somehow love had mix with problems.
i always think I and u will be forever,
But I never ask ur thinking.. Sorry.

Regards,
Samantha

2012-02-10T13:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I really so tired.
Cant be sleep cause I didnt finish my hw at all..
I busy study the whole day then have to run to work.
So so tired. My dear callme, he talk with me for maybe 20-30mins gua..
Feel so happy to see him. Somehow I feel not so tired after talk with him!
Thanks dear. All my worry had gone.
Thanks for wat u have done for me.
Really hope I can fly back now to celebrate valentine's day with him!
This year maybe cant even celebrat we birthday with him lo..
He come back NY on his birthday,
but I think he have to stay home with family.
After had a talk with dear I back to work on my hw but I fall asleep..
Haiz, I awake at 6am with all my book on bed and light's on..
I take a decision to sleep and awake at 8.30am to continue my work.
Now, super super tired..
Have to take bath fast then go work.. Okla, talk until here ba!
Hope I will have happy news soon..

Regards,
Samantha

How I feel now..

2012-02-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

When a person try to dislike u, you should that u are start to become meaningless.
Although how hard u try, he might feel nothing.
But, I will not give up.
I will try no matter wat happen.
I really do can be with u without everything here.
Cause I trust u can bring me happinest.
But, somehow u do make me clear that we may not be a prefect match at all.
We always fight because of little small thing and hurt our relations.
When thing happen more than one, we start to feel angry.
We both, no I should say I myself like to always control people.
Maybe I get use to handle everything by myself that's why I forgot to care ur feeling.
I know u feel i'm so ma fan already.
U really make me feel our relations have no more hope.
I am such a stupid people.
Although u didnt say much. But, I think many negative things.
This few days I cant sleep.
Tears come oit no where. I scare to let people know.
I still need to pretend sick.
I cant even cry out loud even everyone is sleep.
I really angry myself for doing so.
I even think about stop study and save money then go back with u no matter wat.
This is all because wat? I dont wan keep saying it.
You should know how I feel.
Really dont know wat can I do now.
Can anyone tellme pls..

Regards,
Samantha

I know you are seeing my post now!

2012-02-07T20:50:00.000-08:00

I know u will see my post here.
Yesterday, I look to last year valentine card with ur promise.
Today is our 2nd year, and will have our second break up!
And, I know if I say it for 2nd time we're gone.
I know if we say that out we're really no more relations.
I dont know why everything change in just a month.
Malaysia really bring u so much memories until u dont need me?
This time I really really angry and sad!
I'm angry i'm really nobody in ur heart.
I sad we really have to break.
I try for so many time to fit into ur life.
I also did plan will go back just because of you.
But now, u tellme u're not happy and u rather to stay at Malaysia!
Did u ever think how I will feel?
Did u ever think that u will hurt me?
Few months ago I keep thinking that i'm selfish that I wan u to stay with me.
But, now I know u never think about me.
I did not plan to stay with me.
I really do think that u have another gf at malaysia.
You so no and I trust u.
I dont understand!
I dont know how Malaysia can keep ur heart until u dont wan me also can!
I really so angry!!!
If u dont wan give any promise to my mum and dad pls dont find them!!
Pls donate everything out.
I dont wanna see u at all!
I wont put u no. 1 anymore.
I hate u so much... So much.

My Recent Life in New York!

2011-11-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

A wonderful night with tears,
i think i had been stress up for such a long time really wanna take a whole break!
I'm hoping that i finish study everything and just sleep and
Play around with sisters and brother and ofcourse have some trip with my hubby!
Last two day five of us went out eat.
My eldest sis said, we all finally grow up and know how to pay for our own bill!
I suddenlly feel that we're really BIG GIRL and BIG Boy.
Misses the past memories at Malaysia with my families and Friends!

This few months i had going through all difficulty that i never experience before.
Having a hard time with my bachelor degree course. So Bad!
Easy get mad and yell at people. That's why i choose to stop work!
I thought i will have good enough time prepare and pick-up my grade.
But, i failed to do so.. Now so worry that i will really fail!
I will have my final on maybe 13Dec and will have my grade by 20Dec.
If i fail i will have everything gone.
I will lose my F-1 Visa.. My GPA will ofcourse drop badly.
This will also effect my future of cant find a job!
And, because of this i ate so much rice, choc, junk food and etc..
I had a body check up, doctor said i might have diabetes cause my suger level is 5.7!
The diabetes risk level is on >5.7 to 6.4
Doctor call me eat less sugar and relax!

Let's dont talk about it. Last few week i open my hard drive and review back somes of the photos and video.. I cried!
Really hope i can go back to past with less stress compare to now!
No one know how i feel.. I'm wrong.
I shouldnt be so stron!
I shouldnt be so smart!
And,
I shouldnt be so tough!

I shouldnt keep everything in my heart and smile everyday.. this make it worst!
I should really have a big cry and forgot all my stress..
Is really not easy to keep myself so tough infront of people!

Since i had choose my way to go from the first.
I will not give it away! I will keep it back to me.
I will go back to my confident way in studies.
i will not let myself down even once! I promise.
If I think I can I can!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

I HaD ChooSe My WaY OuT!

2011-11-10T05:45:00.000-08:00

I've been realizes is not easy to solve a problem that had struggle me so long!
But, I have a way out now and confident that things will not happen again.
I will not make the same mistake anymore.

What a good early morning sitting on a chair side of the resting place in college.
Just finish my class feel like wanna wrote something down.
Today I get back my paper not a very good paper
but I think this is the higher grade I ever had in this course!
A 68%.. After 2 1/2 months of taking class in Baruch college,
I realize everything had change..
My course was so difficult, alot quiz & test every week..
Make me really stress out and I had stop working for almost 2months..
I'm worry about my college fees coming on Feb 2012..
Things come so hard after I get into such top college..
Sometimes, have a moment I think about stop study!
But I cant let everything goes.. Tired of being so tough!
Now I really have to work double hard to pass the 4 course that I have taken.
Not a easy classes.. But I must pass inorder to keep my visa..

Let's talk about something else,
About my life now..
Boring day of keep studying and work on hw alone everyday!
No work.. But I have to back to work.. Max I can hold is until next month!
Night time: hehe.. I play cards daily with my ku po and sister!
I should take this time to really rest awhile and relax..
I'm sure I can still do it! I can definately work this out by myself!
I have to on right way now.. Not to make myself worry!

Regards,
Samantha.

Nov 6

2011-11-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

When things cant stay should I put it down?
I try hard but somehow it doesn't work!
Or maybe I too rush to conclude it..
Hope I will change it tomorrow!
If not I should say it.
When things happen I try to run away from it..
Hoping that nothing will happen!
But after that, I stress with it.
So stupid!
I should not care anymore!
but I cant! Things keep pop-up in my mind..
Cant sleep..
I think I should face it not run away from it!
Things will still be there for me!

Oct 1st 2011

2011-10-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!
I think people should wondering i'm I sad or something happy wanna share here..
Nothing actually..
I know it from my mummy that today is my chinese birthday.
I guess no one know about it ba..
No special happen..
Gonna go sleep la..
This year I think in bad luck..
Just quit a job.. No job..
I learn make up this few day.. not bad..
I wish this year everything goes smooth..
No sick.. Always healthy and get to know my way!
Hope all family members happy and healthy!
also to my beloved.. Hope he always sayang me lah..
Hehe.. Little greedy!

Regards,
Birthday Girl!!

Graduation photos day!

2011-08-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today I and my family went to college for pictures!
Happy and I know my mummy were happy too.
Early morning my mom wake up and fit for cloths..
Long time didnt see my mum do so.. Almost never!
After pictures we went to pio pio chicken for food!
Excelent food!
After a great food we go to manhattan 'Dave&Busters'
Exciting games and fun..
During the night, we have a spicy chicken food from korea!
After being such in a busy day all of us so tired and sleepy!
almost everything prefect!
But during the night.,
I watch you tube for less than 30mins..
My bf yell at me cause didnt reply his msg!
Because late reply his msg he act like that to me!
really get little mad..
I know he might too tired or wat..
But I dont think that should be the reason to mad at me!
Really dont like him act like I have to ready for him every single min!
My mum say he might be a 'ku pik' person,
Always like to be 'dai lam yan'..
I know he is! And I can accept from beginning..
Cause I know he always like that..
But, will he change a little?
I hope he will if not it is really hard for me
to cool down after everytime he treat me likt that!
I really might expose everything like
what I do sometimes and end up with a fight..
Is small fight but I awalys think a fight will affect our relation.
maybe is my fault!

Here Is My Mummy,Grandma, 2poh..

Here Is my Ku Poh & Ku Cheong!

Part Of My Families Members only...

My Sister Marris, Shannon Brother and My MummY!

Regards,
Samantha

Friday...

2011-08-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today is my third day leaving from work.
Like usual.. No meaningful things to do..
Watch movie go shopping with mummy then back to movie.
I feel so boring then I miss my hubby so much.
When I wait and wait the time to pass..
I feel so miss him.
He finally finish work..
We go to eat and have some sweet talk..
So happy.
Also, thanks for his words that keep my worry away.
Eventhough I wont accept on his suggestion but
I feel happy to hear that he willing to take care of me temporary.
Thanks husband... Love u so much!
Really hope we can always be like that..
easy and simple life but without fired part la..

Regards,
Lovely wife..

Worried..

2011-08-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

I been fired on tuesday.
Wednesday I busy whole day try to forgot and relax.
Today, thursday I woke up at 2noon..
Do nothing, go bank then watch movie.
I been wasting my time and try to release some stress
But I CAN'T.. Night time I try to tell steven but my mom here.
At the end, i'm not dare to tell steven.
Feel wanna share my feeling and tot's but I cant.
Really feel stress.. Everytime stop working, all my worried come back!
I think is just my fault.
I know my mom worry about us so much.
I dont know how to say my feeling now so misrable.
Really hope everything can pass fast.
Please give me a way out!
Really hope my hubby be my side now.
Really hope I can cry out loud now..

Regards,
Samantha

Unhappy & confused

2011-07-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

I dont know why he didnt trust me.
is few times already.
Sometimes he make me feel that I should do that.
He make think and be like the person that he think I am.
Sometimes I scare myself too.
i'm so sad when he always treat me like that.
Maybe i'm not trustful.
Sometimes I feel myself bad too..
Sometimes I need to lie about what i'm doing.
Is not that I dont wanna tell but I dont wan make more arguements.
I hate myself that I lie.
I make myself stressful.
I'm just stupid...
Stupid person who hoping something would change.
I should know it will not change..
I know is care.
I like that but when its too much it became stress out.
Really hope I know what I wan.

Regards,
Stupid Sam

ToDay 15 June 2011

2011-06-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today is my Sunny Uncle funeral..

feel so sad but didnt cry out..

somehow when i see "him" i dont feel scare

but i feel interest to touch him.

but, i cant.

Uncle god will bless you..

know u leave in peace and hope ur wife and son will stay happy.

i'm not good in saying those sweet words.

i will try my best to take care

grandma, my mum and also uncle aunties..

i will also try my best to finish my studies as fast as i can..

Regards,

Samantha

Myself in 2010 AnD 2011

2011-06-15T09:10:00.001-07:00

2010

Niagara Falls Trip

Water Falls

On the Boat to WateR Falls

CassanDra BirthDay - 2010

2011

I AnD My Baby First year..

Valentine's Day!

Also My Dear BirthDay!

We celebrate At The View Restaurant.. 5 Star Hotel..

Hershey Park..

Manhattan Fair..

A Treat for my mummy... (ReD LoBsTeR)

Boston Trip With My Dear!

Manhattan Cruise Trip..

Broadway Show At Manhattan!

Trip to Washington D.C

Break Now.. Gonna back to WorK!!

Mother's Day 2011

2011-06-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

That's my elder sister, fourth sister and my younger brother with my mummy!

This my Ku Po with her grandson..

Here's our family members! Opps.. MIssing my third sister here!

We went to eat mexican food.. Pio Pio Chicken at Northen B.

June 15 2011

2011-06-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

This few months many happy and unwilling things happen to me.
First of all, my mum, sister and brother lucky come to USA but I need to support them.
Second le, I just get into Baruch College for my bachelor.
It is a top CUNY college in NY I feel very happy but on the other I feel very worry on the financial.
I scare and didnt talk to my parents about it. Hope things will go smooth also to my visa application.
Third, my first uncle just pass away on saturday noon..
I feel so down and unhappy. Tell truth, I know he have brain cancer and will die in this few month.
When time come I kind of block out. But, I not sad as my grandpa pass away before.
Maybe i'm ready to take that news ba.
But at this time I feel very happy cause on sunday to tuesday I go Boston with my dear.
I really feel so enjoy and run away from strees at that moment.
After too many problems and things come to me I really need space..
Thanks for him to support me all the time.
I know his brother and mum and also himself feel that he not suppose to go trip with me this time.
But he still spend time with me. Thanks for my husband giving me such a happy moment this few days!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

My 20th Birthday... Oct 22 2010

2010-10-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for my two sister and sam celebrating my birthday..
i'm so happy to be with you all.. thanks!
thanks for heidi cake.. i know u make it with all ur love..
thanks for feli song.. know u create ur own song for me..
thanks alot.. thanks for sam too.. feli bf who go to flushing buy cake for me..
i have 2cake this year.. so happy.. i also have one nice cup cake from steven..
thanks for his necklace too.. although he cant come yesterday..
but, i'm really happy to see u this morning...
know u unhappy cause cant be with me yesterday..
but is ok.. next year sure i will be with you.. i promise!
let i show you guys some of the picture here...

~Heidi hand made ice cream cake~

Who take my picture when i talk with my beloved dear..

Although he cant attend but i'm happy that

he celebrate with me the next day! Thanks dear..

~Even lovely ice cream~

~Heidi hand made orange~ Guess what is that?

@ Is RabbiT @

Our treat for that night..

Sushi, Rock shr. tempura, Stir fried udon, Eda, tatsuta...

Opps.. also the two Cakes, ice cream, and the OranGe...

This is from Felicia and her bf (Samuel).. Thanks!

Who take my pretty face picture?

The EnD...

ohya.. i left something...

My dear geh necklace..

I post it next time when i free to take a picture of it ba!

i will post up my sister Heidi's birthday photos too... :-)

Regards,

Samantha Gan

OcT 14...

2010-10-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

After suffer with all the job and family problem..
i decide to stop thinking about it..
i dont care about it anymore..
the reason is.. i have no time for it..
i care about them but they may not think about me at all..
fine.. let it go..
this two weeks i will go crazy and suffer for my tests!!!
i have economic test and the CPE (graduate test) both on monday...
and also the urban social test on wednesday..
crazy.. the CPE test take me 5hour.. 4pm to 9pm..
how can i stay in the room for so many hour..
some more that the most lazy time... i need food at the dinner time too!
if not i stomach go crazy.. by those stupid sound..
tell truth.. i have no confident at all..
i have no idea about how the test going to be...
i dont even read a things yet..
cause i just know it yesterday about those test..
i guess this weekend i have to suffer with the study..
Wish me luck ba!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

BaD LuCk...

2010-09-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

Been A month i didnt get into here..
this few weeks really feel bad..
i get into a fight with my dear until so mad..
but we are good now.. thanks for forgiving me dear..
this few week really so stress...
stress of study, find job, all those talk from grandma..

Last week i talk with grandma,
she said eddie uncle said that i quit the Noda Restaurant job..
Tell truth, i really so angry..
i dont know why and how come they will say it that way..
is actually eddie say my sister cant work here anymore..
you.. tell matt(manager) whether are u work or not..
i didnt say anything yet..
then matt say both no need to come tomorrow..
how would i stop working if i need money to go school..?
why they say me like that? do u know how bad i feel?
i never think that own family members will talk about that theirselves..
And last 2day i chat with my mum...
My mum cry infront of me..
saying that grandma said they wanna "Ka Chan"..
cause grandpa died.. i get so mad lo..

Malaysian people who only care about family love..

US people never.. greedy..
if they say infront of me that i never put them as a family members..
i will scold them right away lo..
is not i never put u on high position.. is u never put me as ur granddaughter..
from small until now.. she care about my cousin more than us..
i can say 100% yes.. do we jealous or wat...
never.. this is all my mum teaches us.. my mum put her as a important pepople..
what does she give my mum? Just A word..
Wanna "fan ka chan" after grandpa died..
i'm not and cant give any judgement on this..
but i can say is not good.. u shouldn't treat us like that..
if u think we are family members.. this is just freak out..
even until now.. i can 100% sure saying that
i never put u guys in a down position..
i never NOT care about u guys..
i wish grandpa is here.. stop all this rubbish...

Regards,
Samantha Gan

Here is my Niagara Trip pictures!

2010-08-15T06:31:00.001-07:00

My first time making a pancake with my dear!!! Nice view during the night time!

Here Is all my trip to Niagara Falls Pictures!

Hope you guys enjoy with my pictures!

having a nice trip with my love one..

Muacks!

Sorry for the late!!!

2010-08-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

here you go.. I'm here now to talk about my gossip!!!
wakaka... by the way, i'm sorry for the late post..
ohya.. start from our father's day trip... we went to SHE concert o..
interesting wan.. selina crazy dancing in the small concert..
i think many poeple post it on the youtube... u guys can go see too!
i think search for "SHE mohegan concert"..
the week before we go to the concert...
i and my boy friend (Steven) went to Niagara Fall...
so fun... my first time go so far with him.. is across canada..
i had post those pictures in my facebook... but is just 1/4 of it...
no time to post picture...
recently i apply for intent to graduate..
i think i will graduate at the end of this year or begining 2011...
after that i will go for high education in Queens College...
Top 2 accounting college..
i think the fees over there is much more expensive...
but i wont waste my time by doing something else..
i wish to graduate it fast and find a acountant job over here...
after some time with enough money i will back to Malaysia or wat...
hope my target will come true...
other than that, this few day i and steven have some arguement..
sometimes i feel like he's my only one...
sometimes i feel like we're not that fit yet...
anyway, i will try my best to love him...
i know i may make him sad or angry sometimes..
but is just my own temper.. this few day i feel like very easy get mad...
hate that feeling... but early morning i back to normal..
i will try my best not to think about bad things in between our relations.
I promise... :-)

Regards,
SamanTha..

should i stop everything?

2010-06-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

i never think that we will come to this stage...
but now i feel it..
he dont really care about me anymore..
games and friends more important than me...
he and dion play me.. testing how much i will angry...
now i really very very angry...
i didnt think about it before.. that he will really do that to me!
i start have those feeling that he didnt care about my feeling anymore.
now i am really angry..
he even pretend nothing yesterday night..
play games say jokes..
make me more angry...
i didnt pick up his phone yesterday..
this is because i dont wan angry until i say something at hurts both of us..
i thought he will call me today..
but he scare to call me tim.. he just sent me a msg...
i think our relations are so far away now..
should i say something or what?
i think i didnt know him anymore..
no more...

May 24

2010-05-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

this morning just get my math test paper.. it was so bad..
it make me no mood to do my assignment for the whole day..
i just waste my time in the lab by doing such crazy things...
facebook cafe world, restaurant city, youtube and now blog...
i tot i'm having a bad day from morning until night.
perhaps account test paper give on wednesday...
i no need to face the fact.. i think it should be better than face everything on one day ba!
by the way, this morning felicia msg me say that she already at Boston.
i wish to enjoy her day over there.. should be memorable for her ba..
and, she wish me enjoy my studies.. i think i'm suffering now lo..
alot more assignment not yet done.. i think i will and have to do it on wednesday..
wish everything will be done on that day..
lastly, June 14 , and 15th i and steven gonna go for vacation lo..
wish us having a nice trip at Negaria Fall ba!
i guess it will be a nice trip ba.. if my score didnt break my mood of going to holiday... :-)
okla.. i guess i have to continue my work now.. bye!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

May 10th 2010...

2010-05-10T10:14:00.001-07:00

had been a while didnt post...
let me summarize what i had done in those days..
i just get my account, math and speech test..
result ok.. 87%, 89% and 84%...
after release those test stress.. a good news after that..
this wed having a account test again.. then next monday math test...
not only that.. i'm having 2 specch presentation this saturday and next saturday..
also, 3 essay coming up.. on reseach paper on next wednesday tim..
haiz.. after 1test.. then alot more waiting for me! haiz..
by the way, last week i went to counselor ask about my studies..
they say i can graduate by the end of this year..
but i think i have to postpone it to next year..
because intend to graduate this year... i have to take 6 more course in 3months..
and, i take a lokk on those course liao.. is like duck talk to chicken only..
i dont even know what kind of course is that..
so, take me some time to score those course with a excelent grade..
therefore, i choose to postpone.. have to talk to counselor soon..
Lastly,
last week me, heidi, feli, steven (my dear) and Sam(feli bf) when to Central Park...
we took alot picture.. i'm lazy to upload here..
so pls go into my facebook and take a look with that lo!
Ohya.. also, yesterday is Mother's day..
i would like to wish all the pretty mother having a wonderful day..!
i think this year ku po and Chloe aunty having a nice mother's day...
Also, my mummy... wish to see her reaction when she see my present..
it will be late to Malaysia.. i hope she will still happy...
ok.. i talk until here..
because i'm actually have to do my assignment now..
Take care friends!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

So angry...

2010-04-14T14:00:00.001-07:00

REally angry this time.. really dont know what he thinking about..
when i joke he think i'm angry.. when i really angry to him... he pretend nothing..
someitmes feel like he dont really know what i wan... dont care about my feeling at all..
everytime when i angry he just like nothing.. this really make me angry more..
i dont know anything happen to him or not.. but i just mad of people being like that to me!
why dont he pujuk me at all? so mad now..
i really feel like we are different world people... cant be together..
even i like him or how much he love me.. i actually cant really see it...
cause eveytime i think he is good.. sure have something that make me change my mind..
is he really like me actually? why he didnt care my feeling?
why he think let me cool down is better way to settle my problem?
i dont really think it that way.. when ikeep all in once.. i might say all out.
if we are still in this kind of relation i think i will stop..
i rather stop our relation instead of being stress and thinking about why...
i really dont like that feeling.. maybe he have his problem too.. i dont know..
but i just cant.. i know when the time i really say it out.. there will not have any way to go for..
really hope something will change my mind.. this problem alwaays appears in my mind..
sometimes i really think we not surpose to be together... is my thinking wrong?
anyone can give me some suggestion to this particular problem?
pls leave me some comment according to this post..

Regards,
Samantha.

WeDnesday.. early morning in the computer lab..

2010-04-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

hey.. i'm back! just finish up my Precalculus class... tired..
i just get up my result for the first test on last monday...
i have 54% in it... with a C- or D i think.. so unhappy for my result..
but i had try my best for it.. today go to the class and ask my classmate..
he teach me alot.. thanks for him lo!
now, in the lab.. Hiaz.. doing my essay that have to pass it up later at 8pm..
now almost 11am.. i have no idea what to do.. dont even know what to write...
that's y i'm here to write this blog..
Ohya.. think about one of my blog comment.. from mermaid...
i think is really not easy to find one that match u..
because even i dont know whether my love one is really match me or not...
sometimes easy stuff happen will make us feel unhappy..
like yesterday.. i just joke about wanna talk to one of the new cheft...
i actually know he dont like it.. even if i talk to one of the bus boy...
but, when i joke with him.. he just got mad...
after that, he like act dont care... make me feel uneasy too..
feel like he doesnt trust me that much...
and i feel like so stress of thinking about what he is thinking...
Very hard stuff to learn about... people thinking if he didnt tellme...
fine, now our relation actually look good... maybe i think too much ba!
I think i love him more than what i think...
Before this, he's the one who always callme.. but now upside down..
maybe i should stop it.. not to love him that much..
one day i may get hurt alot.. i always have some kind of feeling that we are not forever...
some kind of feeling that we actually not that match..

i think if he see my blog then he will be sad about what i say ba...
sorry for say this.. but, this is what i really feel..

Ohya.. by the way, i have been more than a week didnt receive my little husband mail...
i think he is also busy with his job or girl friend ba! so, take care...

Regards,
Samantha Gan

March 22 2010...

2010-03-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday.. i know lily call my mum to ask me whether i really like steven deeply..
i actually have no idea how to answer my mum...
tell truth.. not so lar.. but not so little too..
i also dont know.. i know my mum just care about me!
and, i know my aunt is actually wan me to find another one who better than this...
i actually know that mu aunt look down at him too la..
he is a sushi chef...
she always think i surpose find someone who have much more better level people!
like lawyer or accountant.. or higher future people...
i actually really dont mind about that..
what i wan is just a simple life...
with a nice guy and the one who i love together..
i really never think about become a rich people something like that..
i just wan a easy life.. Am i not surpose to have that kind of life?
wondering what they thinking about.. i know my mum know what i'm thinking about...
is just sometimes my aunts and uncles talk too much and her think too much...
i really dont like people make my mum and dad worry about me!
hate that feeling when my mum come and
ask me those question after heard something from someone...
Anyway, i'm ok.. LIfe still have to go on...
Someone tell me that,
"god will not create a lock with a key, there will alwyas a key to unlock the lock"
i choose to trust him... and hope one day all my problems solve..
my family will not worry about me anymore..
not only my mum and dad but also the family at USA...
hope my rainbow will come very soon...
Thanks for the person who tell me about this... :-)

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

17 March 2010

2010-03-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

just now i receive a email from one of my old friend...
had been long time didnt chat with him.
he sent me an email that full of caring and love...
i mean love as a friend.. he have girl friend already.. haha!
no chance for it..
by the way, thanks for him.. i truely understand and get what u mean.
hope u in a happy condition too.. not like me now..
suddenlly remember how we meet at the KFC for the first time without knowing u...
so funny when i think it back. a guy that call my phone and look at me for few minutes.
and i dare to pick it up.. cause i know he is looking at me infront of me..
haha... funny right? but, memorable..
miss the time that we always went out for movies and food at Pudu...
Erm.. i miss the food now la.. haiz...
okla.. talk until here la.. later everyone know about our story at the past..
Take Care lo little husband!

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

i have no idea what i'm doing now...

2010-03-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

thanks for JT advice..
i actually trust him at first...
even my part of my family think he not bad i actually think i'm still good with it.
but, sometimes i dont know why i just feel uncomfortable with it.
everytime he kiss me i actually think whether is he really lie to me or cheat on me?
is he just wanna get something from me only start chasing me at first.
i really have no idea?
i so scare that what my cousin at malaysia say is right.
i hope i wont make a wrong decision at first.
until yesterday i actually more scare about it.
i never think that he wil be like that to me.
i dont know he will ask for it.
at that time i really feel so disappointed...
the point that my cousin said to me is all like prove to me...
what should i really do? am i really wrong at first?

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

March 8 2010...

2010-03-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

after few day of getting to the problems..
i get it all set... my uncle actually did accept it...
therefore, i and steven back to usual..
hope everything would be fine for now and also later...
this saturday is his birthday la.. i actually wanna give him that secret present..
i bought it almost a year already but not yet give it out..
but is it too fast for now?
i actually wanna keep it until i meet someone that i really like...
and he actually meet up all of what i wan...
but, somehow i still feel like too fast for everything..
is it because i didnt use to couple with someone before...
i dont know why... i just feel not comfortable enough...
i did try for everything... sometime just get scare and panic...
but he is really good... he know how i feel actually... :-)
i still thinking whether should i give it to him?
Or... should i buy him something else...?
anyone can help me? send me a comment for such question pls..
any suggestion?

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

should i be the bad person again?

2010-03-05T03:08:00.000-08:00

after cry for few hours i fall asleep.. now awake but cant sleep.
early morning think about it again.. feel so bad.
i really think i'm so selfish.
at first.. because of my aunt i run away from facing the problem.
so i choose to break with steven.
now.. i tell her again...
last 2weeks i tell her that i might give him a chance soon or later around march.
i really dont know why this time is she the one who past out the news again.
i never think about wanna hide anything from everyone.
i wil tell everyone when i really sure about our relation...
on wednesday i give him a second chance.
but yesterday only i realise,
they said that i couple with him for such a long time.
and this new had pass even to my mum and uncles...
i actually did tell my mum that i will accept steven soon in march..
but i dont wan my family at malaysia think i lie to them.
i will explain to them soon.
about eddie,
i had decide to talk to him today...
dion said eddie wont disagree but hope we will not be couple first.
but i had accept him on wednesday.
what should i do..?
everytime is me.. everytime when i had make decision i also have to change it.
why they do that to me..?
do i really have to be the bad person again.
i dont even dare to tell steven about it just now.
i think i will talk to eddie first before i make final decision.
because i know if i say for break again...
i will never get to the third chance anymore.
and i promise i will never ever tell to the same person about my things anymore.
because u never trust my decision and never think about how i feel.
how important i think u are but u just get me hurt one time and one time.
other than that, i actually think that if not felicia everything will be fine.
but, she is my sister... no matter u give me how many hard time..
i will still take it. i will not angry ueven u give me such a bad time.
now only i realise i cant get to love.
everyone get to love whoever they wan to..
but, i just cant. maybe i just think way too much.
but i have to..
so sorry to be such a useless people who not even dare to face it..

Regards,
Samantha.

yesterday..

2010-03-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

yesterday we start a bet... if who start to call each other pig then the other person win..
if i win i will get to eat free ice-cream for a month whenever i wan to..
if he win.. he say wan to kiss me anytime i wan in a month.. actually i dont feel like it.
this might get our relation closer and closer..
i actually dont eenknow what i wan...
i actually had make a decision and plan to tell him on 14Mac..
but now i feel like.. how can we get angry because of easy stuff...
is actually because i like him or is because we not match...
a big ??? for me...
what should i really do..

in between, everytime he call me bad pig i actually miss ga tat..
the one who i always call bad pig..
everytime i unhappy also he will call me and make me happy....
the bad pig that always call me soh pig..
i think u busy working ba...
but, how come steven know i angry also he will let me go sleep..
maybe he think i angry then dont wan make me more angry gua.
but i prefer he like ga tat wor..
actually that day... we compete see whether he will cry or not...
the time when he work so hard for it.. i actually feel sad..
wan he cry but my tear come out.. so crazy!
perhaps he didnt see.. haiz..

now.. i dont even know whether my decision is right or wrong..
i dont even know what i wan... i think i really need time to see..

Regards,
Samantha Gan

Back to Usual...

2010-02-21T06:44:00.001-08:00

i just realise that he actually know about my blog...
haiz.. since he know i cant say anything much here lo...
Ohya.. our relation back to friends.. good friends!
my life now back to usual life..
my school gonna start soon...
2more weeks... after that everything gonna be hard for me..
i take 4course this spring..
everything high level... hope i can try to handle it ba..
and also hope wont make my GPA drop.. if not i cant transfer school soon!
so stress when i think about this... now GPA is 2.9..
if drop to 2.5 i have no chance already..
Gambathe lo Samantha...

I sure can make it!

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

in never try such a pain in my heart...

2010-02-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday is valentine's day...

i actually have a very happy day with him.. but i'm not..

i just broke up with no reason at the midnight of sat...

today morning i went to lily's house for celebrating chinese new year..

lily say she is happy to see me cause i didnt go to his date..

she know i'm sad actually...

when lily talk about him in the room... i dont know why tears start to drop..

i hold it and walk out. i thought i had make a good decision..

but, my heart feel the pain whenever they talk about him..

after that, i go to work.. i saw him the whole day but i scare to talk to him..

i scare i cant control myself..

before the restaurant open.. he come to me and give me the valentine's present...

i actually really scare to talk to him.. but i have to push it back..

i cant make second mistake again...

i saw what is inside.. is a very nice necklace with a choc too...

i start to regret when i see it..

if i didnt say such a word in msg.. i think we are still happy and enjoying the day..

but now, everything change upside down..

my heart really feel pain today.. this is first time i have this kind of sadness..

i wan it but i cant..

i never try before.. but i must maintain cool to him..

during the whole day... i see him so disapointed... my heart feel uneasy...

i feel i'm so bad.. how can i do that to him...

did i really hurt him that much?

but i also didnt feel good to it...

i rather pain now instead of later...

maybe we are in different world..

he is free and no worry..

i cant.. i have alot to worry..

i have study, money, heidi, working, and i cant fit him more into it..

i have to worry about so many things everyday..

have to worry about my study grade, homework...

i really scare soon i will have no time for him... i start school on march..

i cant handle so many things at once...

the most problems is,

felicia(my eldest sister) had make such

a big problem to my uncle (eddie) and to my family..

i cant make them feel the same to me.. my uncle how to face the whole restaurant..

after felicia.. now is my turn.. will my uncle bring family members to work soon?

i cant be so selfish.. i have to think about others too...

therefore i choose to escape.. i know he will not understand what i'm thinking about.

or maybe he think i'm just playing..

but sorry... sorry for everything.. is my fault to start it..

i shoud not start from beginning.. so both of us wont feel the pain now..

S O R R Y D E A R...

Regards,

Samantha Gan.

My First TiMe... :-)

2010-02-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

on the 8FeB... all my first time start....
let me announce ba.. i just get started my relations on monday...
hope my decision will not mix up my life ba!
other than that, i would like to say "happy Belated Birthday" to one of my friends...
Quincy... i wish u always have healthy and happy ba!

yesterday i have my another first time too... my first kiss!
i think my life start to be very very busy lo! hehe...

i think i can manage it ba...
study, family, him and also work... should be a little tide..
but, at least i try... hope he understand too...

okla. i share my story until now ba... take care!

One Day trip with Heidi and Ray... :-)

2010-01-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

hey everybody.. i back for the picture that i took last week..

me, Ray and Heidi went to many place in a day.. we also took alot pictures..

here i post some of it ba! :-)

the rest u guys have to go my facebook...

Regards,

SaManTha Gan.

Happy New Year 2010 ! ! !

2010-01-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody!
Had been long time didnt upload my photos...
Here is all the memories picture from the old time until 2010...
Happy New Year..

Regards,

Samantha Gan

BaD MooD...

2009-12-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

Last 2day, i get ready to go college get my writting grade and have the economy test..
In the Subway,
when i buy ticket one of the lady come to me and give me a free unlimited metrocard.
what a crazy day.. from that moment i know sure have something bad happen...
when i reach the college, i received my grade for Eng Writting...
i have a C+ for my writting.. my feeling sad that my english grade was so bad..

During the night time,
i have my Economy test... it was super hard... what a unhappy day...

Just now i went take my economy test... i get a C for it...
now i feel i'm really unlucky..
when my bad luck will change?
i'm having a Mathematic test soon at 8pm...
but, i have no confident now...
to make my GPA increase i need an A for my Math...
do u think i can do that?
my GPA had decrease until 2.9.. not yet include my C for economy and my math grade...
i really scare my garde will drop badly...
i have to make my GPA increase...

gambathe samantha...!!!!! U can Do It....!!!
pray for me ba friends..

this few days really stress.. so many things had happen to me..
My tears drop almost few day once.. really hope my life change now!!!!

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

what a angry and sad day...

2009-12-12T08:06:00.000-08:00

yesterday i was so angry with one of the waitress...
a girl called sharon fight with feli on monday...
and feli tellme that she is just no manners while talking to the manager...

so, yesterday while talking about hose cases.. i also tell her if can next time call the manager name.
then i also dont know what the other waitress say what to sharon for like so long..
after that sharon go tell manager thay that wanna quit the job.
because of this, feli kena marah from Matt...
by saying that "pls dont make problem" "waitress all mess up now"...
now feli say dont wanna continue working...
this had make so so angry... about the punch wrong sushi table to the hibachi table case on monday..
i actually think that feli is right.. cause that not our job to help them change the table everytime..
at night have to help them count tip...
when miss one table cause they punch wrong table then they yell at us..
actually is their fault who punch wrong table and didnt let us know about that...
i highly support my sister actually... maybe sometimes she is abit angry when talk to them..
but, i know sure something happen she only get mad...

after that, i also continue working...
the waitress dont wanna help me take stuff and take the table while i working on another table...
is fine also... dont talk to me is also fine...
sharon help me out but the other waitress dont even wanna talk to me..
i also dont care. i really dont understand why the waitress start to hate me...

at night while eating,
she come and yelll at me... she say that "why so pat?" "busybody for what" "not ur problem better shut up"
"u talk so much and make sharon say quit the job" "if she really quit then ur fault" "i yell at u is right about ddnt help us on saturday why u tell ur uncle?" "if anything happen is ur fault of making people quit" "u have relations doesnt mean u are big"

I actually dont even think about that...
tell truth, on saturday, i really help them make soup, hot water refill more than 3times.. i also help sharon and hadi cause he is new.. i just have no time to help her cause i dont even see her...
i also help her do take drink or refill drinks for customers actually... just that she dont know...
and she say i didnt help out at all...i really feel angry lo...
everytime if i work for kitchen, after finish i also come out see anything they miss out and i replace it...
i dont know they actually know that or not...
i never say have relations in the restaurant can be like "big sister"
i actually know will have many problems and talk about relations stuff...
i always work more than other people did... is that wrong too...
and the waitress say i busybody...
start from today.. i never do extra things... things that not my job i wont touch it..
i will let the manager go find them... i dont care anymore..
the hotel job before i stand straight then people say i stand too straight...
now i try to be soft and talk less in everything... but they say i work too much.. too busybody...
i actually thinking that wanna change job soon...
i waiting for my lisan aunt for the job.. i rather go back work for the hotel instead of staying here...
i actually feel that all this things happen is because of the waitress "+++fire"...
but i also didnt say anything... anything happen ofcourse i will tell feli first cause she is my sister mah...
the waitress say dont tell ur sister about it otherwise more problem will happen..
then, if u guys talk bad about my sister is it i should listen?
ofcourse i support my sister more than u guys.. u guys think u are what?
say that feli just work for a year.. no experience at all...
u are right if u say we have no experience in being a waitress...
but not cashier lo... we become a cashier at least hang longer period then u guys.. u just a waitress..
u are nothig else.. u wanna controll how we work too?
is just too over...

okla.. talk until here la..

regards,
Samantha Gan

Boring day...

2009-11-25T13:57:00.000-08:00

haiz... now doing nothing in the computer lab...
such a boring day.. prof. let us out early like crazy!
i have to wait the time past until 8pm... the next class..
the class in between all cancel! haiz..
the stupid math class dont wan cancel..

too many time so write a post lo... yesterday i went to Joyce blog..
she upload up many new post.. nice song sing by her.. i like one of the song actually..
i wanna know the song name actually.. dont know is she write the lyrics or what.. :-)
but, she seem happy with the life now.. God Bless you!

Talk about friends...
I miss my Kl friends so much la.. dont know they still remember me or not...
everyone have their own life.. hope we can still keep in touch....
wish to see u guys soon with a better life lor...

Regards,
Samantha Gan.

ThanksGiving..

2009-11-24T21:35:00.000-08:00

thanksGiving coming..
I actually have many date at the same time..
(concert,eat,party) but...
at the end.. i cancel up all the date...
why?
because my family here having a Big Stimboat party in Lily house...
therefore, i cancel up all the date.. haha..
i think i will celebrate my sister birthday too...
i actually buy a new I-pod touch for her... as her BirthdayPresent!
i think she will like it very much... In between i think i will buy her a cheesecake too...
her favourite cake! haiz.. but, i dont like cheesecake...taste bad!
therefore, pity me lo! haiz..

Talk about birthday.. u guys know what i did for my sister (Heidi) birthday?
I bring to go eat Buffet on the morning with some friends..
then.. I cook a big dinner for her during the night time...
with a fruit cake.. her favourite cake too! then... a birthday songs with a birthday present..
i hope her first birthday in USA will not be lonely..
when she out from the room.. listen to our birthday song..
her tears drop automatically...
i think she will remember it very well...
i cook her.. not so easy k.. 5 food 1soup...
Believe it or not?
u guys should see some of the picture from my facebook! haha...

okla.. talk until here ba.. i wanna go sleep liao!
Happy Hallowen ya.. :-)

23 Nov 2@@9...

2009-11-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

hi everyone...! long time didnt post on my blog..

i'm Back again with my soul...

thi sfew day one of my friend callme for so many time but

i busy with something so didnt pick up the phone...

when i pick up his phone yesterday... we chat non-stop...

really miss him abit tim...

i think he have the same feeling ba...

i think he kind the sad or something...

hope after chating with me he will be fine!

just now go to facebook... i just realize that patrick already in relation with someone..

i think he should be busy pak tor ba.. i been long time didnt chat with him also..

hope he is fine and happy with the girl la.. also wish him all the best in working ba..!

other than that.. i saw Quincy picture too.. he seem to be ok la..

but i kind the worry about him too... so wish him always healthy lo..

In between le.. i also would like to tell the "bad pig" that

i always here for u when u need me la...

wish u always be happy lo.. and also find a good Gf soon o... :-)

About me le..

I'm good now.. always busy working and study.. this semester really a hard time for me..

the english is harder compare to the past..

about life here le.. the Hallowen just past... very fun and nice..

i took some of the picture and had posted in Facebook too..

if interesting then go see bah.. some pictures in my working place and some in my house..

ohya.. i move to new house liao..

also chage my job too.. didnt work in the hotel for breakfast already,..

now working in a japanese restaurant as a cashier and waitress...

that's y always busy now..

cause have to work until 12 something only reach home..

about love le.. I'm am still single and available.. i think really not the time for me ba..

everytime think about it also will have something happen de..

better dont think about it.. someomore when the time past only regret..

No use... stupid de la me... waste of time only...

rather dont think about it..

ohya.. this coming thursday will be thanksgiving.. and friday will be black friday...

everything should be 50% off... i think gonna go shopping.. haha..

gonna buy more cloths for my sisters for back-up... hehe!

okba.. talk until here first..

to be continue soon k...

Regards,

Samantha Gan.

I'm Back...

2009-10-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

hey guys.. sorry for long tim edidnt on my blog..
recently too busy with my assignment la.. after school start too many essays...
i'm working also in a Japanese Restaurant from thursday to sunday.. so abit busy!
other than that.. actually abit worried..
no $$$ liao la.. angry also..
i never thought that the breakfast job open without calling me!
so was so angry this few day... even when i call the boss.. the boss calme wait for it..
so angry.. if they not planning to calme to go back work..
then why callme go help find chef for the breakfast?
why tell me that will hired me back?
if cant do why promise me boss?
the most angry is.. even my aunt also didnt pick up my phone..
said will call me back.. but dont even call me at all...
dont really how come the people here like that!
hate it.. perhaps now i working in a restaurant... $$$ also not enough..
but better than no income.. cause i have to pay for heidi ma... somemore house stuff!
now kind the stress actually! but i cant do anything also..
just wait and hope the boss will calme back to work...

Thanks for those who care about me!

2009-09-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

thanks to all my friends la..
I'm very good now..
grandpa already done with the funeral...
my sister, Heidi problem has been settle up yesterday..
i also find a part time waitress in my uncle restaurant..
everything consider ok ok..
so far so good!
so dont worry about me..
iw ill start my class next week..
therefore will be kind of busy..
Take Care alright.

Regards,
Samantha.

have happy time always will have sad time!

2009-09-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

sorry for lon gtime didnt post in blogger..
alot of things happen to me this few day...
i just lost my breakfast job for temporary...
the manager said having renovation so stop me awhile...
at the same day the restaurant lost alot money..
i think the manager think that me who steal it!
he came and ask me about the money... really bad luck and sad....
i tot this the most bad luck i ever had...
cause i have no money to survive in USA also to pay my sister study fees!

But now only i know i'm worst than that...
my lovely grandpa just pass away yesterday by a call from malaysia!
in a day... he just pass away like that...
so shock and sad... i miss himj so much...
cry alone in the night time and have to pretend smile infront of people...
the feeling is really so bad!
my family here yesterday book ticket and back to malaysia..
and.. i cant do anything.. cant even go back cause school start...
feel so sorry for my grandpa...
ope he will leave in peace... and i promise..
i will never forgot u..
the way u care for me...
the time we stay together for 17 1/2 years at malaysia...

right now.. i working in my uncle restaurant as a waiter and cashier...
hope everything will be fine..

Regards,
Samantha.

Peach, Rasberry and blackberry picking!

2009-08-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

we surpose to go apple picking but not allow yet so didnt pick...
the first farm that we went to... they so bad!
they said not allow to pick anything just buy.. especially chinse!
they said this few years people pick and run away without paying...
i think they mean by china people!
therefore, we just took some picture and eat there...

After that, we went to another farm...
this farm so good... we allow to pick anything and eat anything!
haha... we went to pick peach first..
the people said we have to pay $3 per person.. 9 people = $27..
after we pick and eat,
if we have $27 of peach then we no need pay anything..
if have extra then we pay more.. so, we also start picking la!

Do u know at the end how much peach that we took?
after we take the peach to scale... it cost $26.99!!!
Interesting? so happy...
we gotta take around 20 to 25 peach back and eat there for free..
without any eatra pay!! so fun.. haha...
In between eat peach.. we took some apples and eat too! hehe...

After that.. we went to pick rasberry...
beginning Cass mum(Lily) said wanna buy some go back eat..
at the end u know what? we just eat all of it...
haha.. dont even need to pay! haha...

Then, before we went home... we when to the store and buy something..
after buying.. we went to feed the goats and sheeps...
first time! so fun..
I just buy $0.10 corn... we are able to feed them "gau gau"...
so fun.. we took some pictures too! nice pictures!

Oklah.. talk until here first!
Actually tot wanna bring "R" go but cant... last minutes plan!
next wed i think we will go beach..
hope nothing happen that make it cancel again!

Busy day...

2009-08-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

this morning,
my sisters(felicia & Heidi) will move some laugages to our new house!
they gonna busy up first... then..
after i finish work and reach home around 11.30am...
i think i will help them... Or either...
go picking apple trees with Heidi and uncle aunty..
dont know yet... i think should be a very busy day ba..
yesterday "r" call and ask next wed or thurs free or not...
james say wanna replace the beach activity.. so "r" ask me wanna go or not!
i also dont know about that..
james did call me for the whole day la.. but i busy so didnt pick up..
night time i watching drama so didnt reply the msn chat...
cayanne also i didnt reply.. sorry la!

If suddenly apple picking and beach activity go smooth again..
then so good! hehe..

Yesterday.. :-)

2009-08-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

yesterday is rachel birthday!
we celebrate her bithday since the beach activities is cancel...
we play, eat and also talk ghost story!
so fun... ray come with us too...
after the party we went to vitnamese restairant to eat!
we eat and tell joke and story.. fun!
after that// ray said wanna sleep over my house...
i was like.. as u like if u really wan...
at the end he ask his mum permission and really sleep at my house!
they just disturb me.. i slept at 1am...
they sleep around 2 to 3 am...
someone say too energetic...

this morning.. all of us go work!
me, cass, heidi and ray... work and eat and tell jokes!
since no customers cause of the construction...

now.. since free so i write this post..
i call them go have a walk outside(Mahathan)...
i think they went to M&M and Toy Urs...

okla.. talk until here.. post picture in the next coming post! hehe..
sorry to those who waiting for the pictures!

Regards,
Samantha

dont know happy or sad...

2009-08-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

today beach activity has been cancel...
should i happy or sad?

(a) Happy
-happy cause i no need go to the sun.. why?
i sick like crazy now... :-(
-can go rachel birthday party later

(b) Sad
- i cant go play and BBq la...

cancel it because they see the whether report say that have 50% will rain..
therefore they rather go next time.. haiz...

then ray say wanna go to rachel party..
i not yet call rachel dad inform them la... haiz!
gonna call them later...

Another bad news...
the apples picking will be cancel too... haiz..
Cass dada (jackson) dont wanna go so we cant go..
no transport.. haiz..
Ray say he will ask his dad see can go or not..
but i think we cant go la..
2 activities cancel on the same day(yesterday).. haiz!
BAD LUCK....

i and my sisters went to order the furniture yesterday...
we moving on next saturday or sunday...
hope everything go smooth...
i think when school start all of us seldom see each other..
hope everyone in good condition..

Long time didnt chat with my mum.. almost a month...
yesterday My sister call mum..
she said she dont know how to turn on computer..
i think she will be very boring in the house..
my dad went to Bintulu work liao..
Marris and Shannon go study everyday... left my mummy alone at house!
i think i gonna buy the prepaid card call back to Malaysia...
otherwise mummy will be very bored..

a nice day...

2009-08-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

er... what a nice early morning...
today wake up abit late but still mentain the right time to work...
a customer wait for friends and sleep in the restaurant.. kind the weird!
yesterday when out to help my uncle about the medicaid stuff...
i help them out until 5pm.. so head so pain..
like gonne break.. therefore i didnt buy anything..
i went home to sleep right away..
now only realise actually many people find me yesterday..
some people i pick up the phone too.. haha!
dont know what had i talk to those people that i pick up the phone...
haha.. now too early.. i think i gonne call them back later.. hehe!
today my bone feel much better and also no headache liao!
hehe.. kind the good la.. tomorrow will go beach with the group..
i think tomorrow will be better gua..
i will not forgot to take more pictures ya...
i think tomorrow will be second time BBQ gua...

First time at Quincy house..
suddenlly think about him when walk about BBQ...
dont know how is him now...
abit miss him tim.. hiaz!
Hope everyone in good condition la...

Regards,
Samantha

Fall Sick..

2009-08-19T04:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning actually i feeling ok.. just bone pain and also throat pain only...
when turn 10am... i start not feeling well..
thought wanna go home sleep.. only around 3pm my sister callme wake up..
cause cousin birthday at 3pm... haiz..
i wake up feel like wanna faint like that..
walk also no energy but also went to cousin birthday...
after celebrate my aunty uncle calme play mahjong(Lami)...
at beginning i lose $25... then my "ku po" said have to take the baby go shower...
so i and my sister heidi also go home take money lo..
since we actually borrow from uncle..

after we back from home.. we continue play "lami" la...
i win straight away five time...
everyone said dont know what we do at home.. haha!
i already win back all my $25..
around 9.35pm.. my aunty say play 3more round..
the last three round i lose back my money..
at the end i lose $6... hehe...
okla.. not bad.. at least fun and enjoy..

when i reach home (10pm),
i tell my sister that i have to go sleep...
when i sleep.. i turn my body...
my left hand side bone crack.. so pain...
i cant sleep until 11.20pm...
and tears come out.. so pain..
at the end.. i think i too tired..
dont know how and when i sleep...

now.. my back still pain.. i think i really break the bone..
haiz... i think today still have to sleep..
feeling better compare to yesterday...
i just feel tired and my body abit weak now...
Hope it will recover fast..
if not i cant go beach on friday and picking fruits on sunday..

My friend.. yee leng also fall sick..
hope her get back well soon..

A happy and nice day!

2009-08-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

yesterday early morning..
ray just email me and said sorry to me.. haha!
so our date go smooth as usual..

yesterday we (me, cass, heidi and ray) went to china town and Soho..
so fun.. this time we took alot pictures.. hehe!
i will post it soon with those pictures that i had promise...
if wanna see more my pictures.. u uys can go to my facebook la!

yesterday we go to heidi school arrange the stuff...
she will start school on the 1st Sept..
after that we meet ray at Mc.Donald...
We went to the Soho and find the "KidRobot" shop...
So far and Ray said he have good memory also dont know where is Prince St.
haha... funny lo.. simply say something only... haha!
When we reach KidRobot.. the things there is so expensive..
that a small robot.. not so nice also cost $3000...
really dont know y people wan it? haiz.. waste money..
heidi bought a toy box.. random box... a blue stuff..
i also dont know what is that... for $6.. haiz..

After we went to Soho.. we go back to China Town... Mott St..
since i not yet eat the whole day..
so i went to buy some cream puff.. & a passion fruit bubble tea.. haha!
taste ok la.. then.. we walk to elizabeth centre...
so fun lo... i choose 2 present for my cousin birthday..
also one present for ... hehe! secret!!!
haha.. u sually i dont mind to write the name.. but nowdays no la..
all my friends here and cousin know my blog..
i think they will come and look what i wrote.. haiz..
i dont wan let they know so many stuff!!! :-P
Other than that.. Ray buy some Gondum... the cartoon toy stuff...
then we took alot photos in the elezabeth centre.. haha..
after that we plan to go eat...
while walking to the Vietnamese restaurant...
we also take many pistures.. hehe!

when we reach there..
the people there so scary... and also weird...
haha.. we talk and play in restaurant actually... haha!
the view so nice in that restaurant..
therefore i plan to take picture in the restaurant too...
i called the waiter to take pictures for us...
i think the people dont know how to take picture..
he just use his finger to block up cass face.. haha!
so.. another waiter help us out...
a nice picture is taken.. haha!

after eat.. we go have a walk and went to ichiban...
buy some candy and king plum.. haha!

then.. only i realise i forgot to buy earing for myself.. haiz..
anyway.. i buy it next time la..
maybe wait for my husband to buy me one.. haha!
joke joke...
dont have husband la.. single and available! hehe...

so wierd..

2009-08-17T04:36:00.000-07:00

yesterday i,ray,cayanne and cass chat in msn...
i actually didnt chat in the conversation..
cause most of the time i actually is on facebook and movie...
suddenlly ray get mad on cayanne...
i also dont know y...
i ask cass and she said she dont know..
so cass went to ask cayanne...
cayanne said is because of audrey stuff...
and i didnt think that so important about that stuff actually!
so i also invite ray to the conversation la..
he just get mad...
so i chat in private with him la..
he just scold me with those rude manners...
then.. i also "heng" la...

i also scold back.. i said i care what u do anymore..
dont talk to me..
bye..
then i also offline and sleep!
acatully not only because he treat rude to me...
is that i just helping him and cayanne...
but he treat me like that...
fine..

this morning when i woke up..
i think about it again..
i also dont know what happen and
why we can have fight with just a simple stuff!
haiz.. so weird lo when i think about it again..
funny actually...
and today i already have date with him lo..
should i cancel or go?
i think i will go la..
since have to help my sister do the study stuff!
Do u think he will find me later?
hehe...

Hey guys.. i forgot about the pictures again..
sorry ya yee leng..
but i had upload it on my facebook la...
u can go look my trip pictures..
not many cause didnt receive all of it yet!

Also sorry to "P"..
yesterday i just get so tired and abit mad about ray stuff..
so i went to sleep around 10.30pm..
chat tonight if can.. hehe!

yesterday..

2009-08-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

yesterday so surprise..
"P" find me chat at night time..
he said sorry to me le..
actually i also dont know is happpy or worry!
crazy..
i should not think about other stuff since he didnt say anything also!

my friend tellme that i should feel whether the poeple like me or not..
i think he is right.. he said i'm slow..
i think it is really hard for me to feel whether people like me or not lo!
i prefer people tell me.. i think that would be the better way..
so that i'm sure how the people feel...
but.. i'm ok la.. ok with our relation now la..
i think friend is better now..

Other than chat with im in msn.. i also chat with a group...
cass,heidi,ray,cayanne,caylan, and james..
i really dont know happy or not...
everyone just mix me up with other guy...
cass and cayanne keep on saying that i and james..
in another conversation..
cayanne keep on say about me and ray and james..
james keep on saying me and someone else...
eugene.. yesterday morning keep on call me go out with ray!
oshh... i think i will crazy because of this peoples imagination la!
i dont even know how to explain...
and also dont know what to explain..
haha.. somemore i lazy think about love stuff la...
if people pretend nothing why i wanna think about it right?
so.. i rather pretend dont know anything!

u have change!

2009-08-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

i have lost u...?
although we always fight before this..
but.. everytime we fight.. our relations just get deep and deeper..
i know u more than others did usually..
but since u start couple with "R"... u have totally change!
u know how bad my heart feel?
our relations just getting far and far...
u turn to someone that i dont know..
yesterday when i think about it.. my tears come out right away!
dont u know, u should be one who take care of me... not the other way?
u know how hard i help u keep all ur secret away from others people...
everyone just blame on me.. because of u!
because of you.. my parents say i lie to them..
i really dont get how come you u change like that?
u should be mature enough... but u are just like a kid!
only know play to enjoy ur life..
ur couple come worst and worst than the other..
i really dont know y u can do this way..
i really dont know how come u dont know how to think...

is that worth?

-i cry just for u
-i lie to everyone because of u
-i help u keep those secret
-i helping u but actually giving u permission to do such thing

i always scold u also hope u can change back!
i hope u will think about it one day and change...
maybe i put a lot confident on u..
u know how bad i feel everytime u did all those stupid stuff to me?
i really cant believe u are my ....!
really cant... i cant even imagine how would u be after 2 or maybe in 5years!
i really scare i will totally lost you!
really scare...
how can u do that to me and ur family?
how many fight and how much tears we drop because of you..
did u really know? did u really care about us actually?
i think i really have to talk with u!
yesterday i cant sleep and cry just because of you..
i seem to be so strong..
but..
actually who really know me??

Yesterday.. whole gang!

2009-08-15T04:40:00.000-07:00

yesterday was really fun la...

People who involve:
me, heidi(my sister),cassandra(cousin), eugene(cousin),Dom (cousin),
ray, daniel, cayanne, caylan, and james(caylan friend)

Event:

we actually plan to go watch movie and go pool or bowling after watch a movie...
At the end.. we watch the alien movie..
haiz.. it was really so boring actually.. i watch until fall asleep!
Ray was so funny... he and his friend went to buy ticket...
the people ask him for the Id.. the Id said under 21...
actually they say 18 we can watch that movie already..
but the people not allow ray buy the tickets... haha!
i think the people just dont believe he is 18... funny!

then after movie around 5pm...
we plan not to go pool cause is far away..
cayanne, caylan, james have to go back NJ around 8.30pm..
So, we plan to go China Town since the boys said there have girls to see..
But.. eugene(my cousin) said that no money to buy stuff if go C.Town...
he said we go home using R train...
but without telling them that we are going home..
so.. i said alright.. the game start..
We actually have around 12stops only reach Elmhurst(home)..
Eugene bet they will realise it after 6stops(Queens Plaza)...
Then.. i said that they wont realise anything..
until we went to the 2 last stop(Rosevelt Ave)..
Then.. My sister Heidi said no.. she think they wont realise anything at all...

So.. the R train came.. we also said come on go China Town...
We like laughing crazy in the train...
all of them are all American people.. and no one know where we going!
haha.. really very funny..

6stops already past... Eugene lose...
then.. i really cant stop laughing at them lo...
they really dont know anything..

when reach the last 2stops...
my aim... one of the guy(Caylan) said..
ai... where we going..?
i saw the board writing "Rosevelt Ave"...
then Heidi like.. no.. we going to China Town...
then.. the train pass...

then when we reach Elmhurst Ave.. caylan like..
hey... they cheat.. we reach elhurst...
Three of us laugh like crazy..
Everyone said is was my fault.. haiz..
i used to it.. they always put everything on me..
i think they just know that i wont angry or wat..
so they just mix me up everthing..
so that i can make the enviroment more funny and happy!

Then.. we went to eat malay food at Penang...
we order like 3 noodles, 4 dishes with 5 rice, roti canai, and satay..
we eat until so full.. It cost $94... Add tips.. we gave $115 in total...
$115 divided into 9people (Dom didnt follow)...
we just pay $13... we can such many different types of food! so cheap lo!

after eat around 7pm.. we went home..
we start to have a DDR battle Girls againts Boys..
But the boys said that they dont know how to dance..
so change group..
group A i'm the leader.. group B Heidi is the leader..
heidi get the choose all the people that know how to play...
all my members lose badly..
the last is i and my sister battle..
I lose her 3 point because of the dog run to the dancing map...
therefore.. My group just lose like crazy!

after that.. we play truth or dare again...
this time we go online searching so that we no need think what to ask!
its was realy fun.. alot of questions we dont even think about that..
and ofcourse have some pervert question la..
I kena ask that where is the most irritating place that i had pee?
beginning i said only restroom la..
But then i suddenlly remember that...
i and my sisters pee on the road lo!
haha.. but that is small punya case la.. not now!

After we play truth or dare.. i have to bring them to go Mahathan..
take train around 1hour to go there.. then back 1hour..
haiz.. i reach home around 10.30pm... alone!
but that's alright.. cause it was fun!
hehe.. thanks alot for them ya...
cause i really had a happy and memorable holiday this year..
at least not that lonely compare to last year..

Sorry no pictures.. i upload later with the trip pictures ya..

Regards,
Samantha.

Love???

2009-08-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

One of my friend tellme LOVE is a big word!
i also think it that way..
i dont think so love can be forever actually!
i dont think we can have a true love either...
maybe is just my opinion about this!

feel like i so stupid..
dont even know what is love..

One of my friend tell me that love is...
-someone that u always about him
-think about him when u see something that memorable between two of u
-miss him everyday

But, i realise i'm always same to all my friends!
is that mean i dont really meet someone that i like at all?
what a good question..
i think i also dont know about this..
i think no one can tell me about this..
i actually ask alot of people about what is love...
all of them almost gave the same answer..
haiz.. i think is really just my own problem la!
Maybe my life just not surpose to pak tor...
not surpose to start any love story...
cause i have too many stuff to worry about!
what a crazy girl..
plan to marry and have the first baby by the age of 25...
now.. dont even pak tor yet...

i think my life will be really just that bored...
even have also not dare to start.. i think is scare and sellfish gua!

I and my little husband!

2009-08-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

now only i realise u are not mine at all..
i think we are back to normal friend..
not like before this...
even u also forgot that i'm ur little wife..
we chat that day..
i suddenlly have another feeling that we are really far away now..
is that my problem or u actually?
i also see ur facebook pictures..
i saw u with ur ex.. i think maybe u are back with her..
finela.. i willing to wish u guys always be happy..
maybe we really have no fate..

In between i know that he have a lot problems going on nowday..
hope his problem will settle up fast la..
and also hope his life will be better..
no need envy me actually..
my life just sound good but not good at all..
i rather back to malaysia actually..
But, i will aim to what i wan first..
if u wanna share anything with me i will be always here for u!
so Take Care.

Regards,
Samantha.

My trip pictures!!

2009-08-12T15:09:00.001-07:00

The NiCe Trip In Jacky AunTy HouSe... I Enjoy It so Much.. :-)

ReGrads,

SaManTha Gan.

tired, happy, but angry trip!

2009-08-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Finally i'm back... haha...
yesterday reach home around 1.45am.... then today work at early 5.30am...
now have some time while working so write out about my trip journey..
i went to the Dorny Park and Pocono Island for horse riding...

The first day of our trip(friday),
actually we tot we will reach there early...
but, i dont know why one of the anuty come late to take us go to her house...
so we wait until 5pm only start our journy to New Jersey...
tell truth her house is really really big!
double layer house also with a big backyard..
nice house... and they also have a small farm right behind the yard...
they plant out alot of chilli,tomato,pepper,vegetables, flower,...
also a small fish pond! haiz.. such a good dream house!
when we reach there around 8pm.. we cant play or do anything special...
so we just eat and chat... haha!
then... sleep lo... haha...
the first night... we sleep down the basement and talk some ghost story..
i dint feel anything much actually...
then fall asleep lu...

tomorrow morning...
we wake up early morning.. after breakfast..
we went to the Dorny Park..
the place there really fun..
alot of games.. water and dry game too!
adult cost $41 for everything!
after we play the dry game.. we went to the pool for the wave...
it was so happy and enjoy la..
but the next day all my bone pain...
i think i play too much..
cause after we back from the dorny park,
i play badminton for more than 3hours...
but, the bad things is... i forgot to bring my camera go to the dorny park!
i try to get a photo of the map to let u guys see...
after we reach home.. we had a delicious BBQ...
pork and chichken meat, lobster, salad, seafood!
i also took some pictures with those big lobster... hehe!
scare to hold them actually...
my friend and cousin still wanna throw me the lobster..
happy la...

but, then late night... we play truth or heat... haha...
we didnt play dare la.. nothing much can do...
somemore we add in 3 little kids...
the problem is.. when i ask one of the kid who she like..
she say dont have.. but she have abit laugh when she answer me...
so i ask are u sure or not..
then she answer me again with a laught..
therefore, i ask again since another cousin also said that she like lie..
the.. she suddenlly scream out and cry...
i also stop la.. and another cousin like ok ok.. give the gal beat us..
she like get mad.. so we stop playing a while..
then the kid brother tell everyone...
the adult like tot i bully the girl...
cause the gal said all my fault..
actually is not lo.. not only i think she is lie..
maybe i really make some mistake there..
since she is a kid i not surpose ask those question..
then... all the adult go play truth or heat upstairs la...
we just leave out the 2 sister brother since 1 cry 1 cant keep secret...
but, the adult thought we jsut hate them so didnt allow they group with us...
actually feel that they are ma fan lo!
if they wan to play then not surpose to cry..
if wanna play should keep secret wat...
now the gal like hate me alot!
i'm the most kesian de lo.. everyone like point it to me!
then.. i also keep quite la...
the night time she come and said wanna sleep with us..
i also k la if she really wan..
but she scare we talk or watch ghost movie or story..
make us cant do anything!
we also play i love u game... she said "what the hell i wont play those games"
we actually feel she is so disturbing lo..
kind of rude abit too cause we just ask wat..
if didnt ask later said we leave her alone!
if she dont wan to get with us then shouldnt follow us..
she wan follow or joint us should not cry lo...
somemore she already 10 going to 11 la..

the next day.. we went to Pocono for the horse ride...
we actually plan to have 2hour ride..
but because of the gal and boy we go to 45min ride since they to small..
is really nothing la this time.. not much stuff..
just normal walk, go up and down hill..
after riding the horse.. we went to a big outlet..
full with all branded shop!
we just shop around la.. seprate with the aunty uncle lo..
i dont know why the little girl mad at us again...
but anyway.. just kid!

the conclusion is at the end..
we play until 12am only plan to go back home..
thought will have a 3hour ride.. but 1.30am we already reach home..
then sleep few hours and now working lo.. hehe!
just tired la when reach home...
my butt, hand and the bone pain lo!
about the pictures le.. i will post it up tomorrow la k...

Finally i have my decision...

2009-08-06T05:05:00.000-07:00

finally i have my decision... i think i'm not going to think about it anymore..
let everything be natural...
i really have not enough time if everything come over...
i dont think so i can manage it good...
so i prefer not to start anything..
maybe that good for me and everyone...
fine... i should let go..

wei.. one good news... haha...
my sister heidi...
i already received a letter yesterday...
my sister have been approve for the M1 visa! haha...
i done a good job... hehe...
finally, she have her proessional student visa... hehe..
Actually have to thank my college counselor for help me out...
i really feel that heidi was so happy yesterday!
almost 10pm something, she come and said help my do my nail...
appreciate it!
i suddenlly feel that.. i love them so much lar.. haha!

I think i Crazy...

2009-08-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

i'm crazy liao la.. dont even know what i wan...
yesterday still talking about "r" stuff...
today talk about "g" stuff...
and my cousin talk about "r" and "d" stuff...
i almost get crazy la...
what i wan actually...
the"p" also didnt contact with me almost a month lo...
how come i still think about the ols stuff...
AnD, i not ready for any new relation la...
feel like so confuse...
i dont wan waste my first time...
i think i really have to think it carefully before having any reaction...
their feeling i know very well...
but, i dont know wat i wan...

Pain..

2009-08-03T04:49:00.000-07:00

one of my friend tellme that he had a target...
i dont know y i feel my heart pain...
although i trying to help him...
but, i feel not in good way...
i really dont know wat happen to me...
how come always think about love and past stuff...
i shouldnt think about those stuff now...
but really feel like my heart pain...
like i'm sick for a few second when he tell me...
actually pretend good in front of someone that u care about is really hard!!
Actually i really waiting for him to tell me...
but now i'm far away from him..
maybe my chance is past..
Just wish he will get his real angel soon la...
best of luck!

Regards,
Samantha

weird thing happen...

2009-08-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

yesterday i suddenly gain crazy and get mad of someone!
because of a very small stuff... i think i'm....
hope is not! dont think of something that impossible samantha!!!!
stop it... only think about my aim!!! go go go...

yesterday morning i went out with my sister, Heidi to Jc Penny..
we shop for a day cause they having a very big sales...
i also help out my aunts buy something la..
a busy day but without meat.. haiz..
wanna go KFC cant.. wanna go McDonald cant... Go Buger King cant!
haiz.. at the end go Mc.donald eat filet-O fish...
but.. u know wat.. night time i go eat maggie since nothing to eat...
and i make an egg lo... but at the end i eat a small piece of meat...
when i eat it only realise it... haiz..
i have to replace it today..
since thursday i break it...
replace fri and sat but break also...
so now have to replace it today...

maybe yesterday too tired + sleepy + the food only i will get mad easy la..
not about what i'm thinking about...
okla.. ready for next friday trip post.... haha...
gonna pack on thursday.. yeah!

Yesterday... SoHo...

2009-07-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went to Soho...
is a place that fill up with all the shopping shop...
actually is my first time to go there...
it seem to be same like mahathan 5ave place actually... not much different...
We didnt went in that many place to shop also actually... haha...
just walk around.. but enjoy la!

Night time.. around 6something...
we went to a mott street... to eat diner...
the malay food there.. is very good!
i really long time didnt taste that... it really taste like malaysia food la..
so nice.. the tom yam noodles is the best!!!
and also the Nasi Lemak there...
i think the sambal too watery.. but still have the taste there!
the roti canai there is actually a roti tisu lo... haha!
they also have rojak la... but, too expensive lo... cost US 5.50...
they also change the name to rujak... haha! funny name!
Thanks to Ray actually.. he bring me to there..
but, he make me break the rule la...
he make me eat his Hannan chicken rice... haiz...
i break it.. its ok la.. i replace it today...
Cause the food is really the best among others that i had eat in USA..
Other than that, also the funny memory at Holister shop! haha.. funny stuff...

after that, actually we plan to go pool la.. but cancel cause too late!
therefore, we just end up with a walk to the iciban.. buy some "masam" food!
hehe...
too bad.. i didnt take any photo la..
dont worry, i think i will go there one more time..
especially the malay cuisine... for sure! haha...
so, i will post it next time! haha...
Hope next time will be that enjoy too! hehe...
see on next friday for the dorny park trip and ride horse... (next post)

Regards,
Samantha

Yesterday-28 July 2009

2009-07-29T04:48:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had a after work at 10.30am...
i went to the side aioki to work for the lucnh...
this time anything i see i also do and help out somewhat...
i think yesterday really happy la....
my aunt teach me how to take online order...
actually she teach me alot yesterday..
and thanks for her cause i had gain experience..
Although the other manager called Jay he call me go back since not much customers...
but okla.. gain something is good...
i actually dont mind about money la...
if have is just bonus la..
if dont have also is alright cause i learn something ma...

By the way.. i had a bad new in between..
Yesterday both my cousin had an interview for a visa to come New York here..
they had been rejected again.. this is the second time..
feel sad to them la actually...
i hope they can come..
not only for my happiness but for their future too la..
they actually having a financial problem now...
Anyway, i wish them best of luck ya!
hope u guys will have better lie soon.. work harder to achieve what u wan ya!
Take Care too.

In between,
tomorrow i will go out with someone.. haha...
but i bring my cousin and my sister out too la...
we go walk walk then eat lo..
i think i will buy a laugage bag too...

We will go to New Jersey, my friends house.. haha!
i will upload some pictures ya when i'm back..
This time we going to ride horse again and to the Dorny Park..
Hope we will enjoy it on next week! < 7,8 and 9 Aug 2009>

scare and worry...

2009-07-27T05:48:00.000-07:00

yesterday my call me to go work in the japanese restaurant tomorrow...
i also dont know happy or sad...
actually happy cause can earn money and learn something...
But, worry that i will bring them "beban"...
haiz... i think i have receive the fact la...
anything happen tomorrow i have to accept it too..
samantha u have to be tough!!!
i will try my best tomorrow...
haiz.. actually i dont know why..
everytime go there also feel so stress...
anyway.. learn from mistake... and gain experience from there...

Gambathe... :-P

not easy to stop eating meat...

2009-07-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

I should start stop eating meat since on the wednesday...
But, the first day...
i really did do it...
stop eating meat...
But, i break the rule by eating the noodles that i cook...
why i put meat in my 'wat tan hor'...
thought to make it have more taste since i cook for my sisters too...
but i break the rule by eating my own noodles... haiz!

the next day thursday,
early morning i already break the rule..
i eat Mc.chicken in Mc.Donald with my sisters..
haiz.. so...

i thought tomorrow would be better..
i really stop eating wan...
but, night time... i break the rule again...
i go eat the "bubur" that my aunt cook... haiz...
really that hard to stop eating meat?

The next day,
wow.. i really just eat a maggie for the whole day...
i cant really believe that...
u know why?
haha... actually is because i fall asleep after i back from work until 4pm...
haiz.. what a lazy pig right.. haha.. what to do..
i too tired..
By the way.. at the end...
I finally stop eating meat on saturday...

Today.. i will keep it on..
cause i had promised to stop eating meat on monday to thursday...
Therefore, i will work hard for that...
to keep my promise valid..

to be continue...

2009-07-23T04:29:00.000-07:00

oklah.. back to story..
Last week...On thursday my dad call me and said that...
On the tuesday, they went to pasar malam wih the whole family...
after that my dad friend(japan guy) call my dad help him go airport take stocks(cloths)...
the plane surpose to come at 11pm... but at the end delay until 2am...
when my dad finish everything it reach 3am...
while in the way going back... reach kepong there...
my dad suddenlly feel like wanna go eat something... so park aside the road la...
when my dad step out... a big car come over and stop infront my daddy car...
a guy run down... take a "parang" and yell at my dad call him "go go.. faster go"
when my dad hear that.. my dad also very scare la... faster run away.. dont even know who to call... wanna call police also dont know what no... i think he probably too scare....
at the end.. my dad is safe.. but the car lost...
i think is good ba...
at least my dad no need to think about the dream stuff.. cause the car is lost...
but, now waiting for the insurance lo..
if not much insurance then my dad have to pay for the car also.. cause loan..
so scare..
i really cant sleep for few day when my dad talk about the dream stuff..
after my dad tell me about the car lost... now sleep tight.

But, i had promise god that.. if they really safe...
i will not watch drama again... OR i will not eat meat...
Haiz.. i also forgot what i had promise..
at the end.. i decide to stop eat meat...
hope my family really in good health..

Regards,
Samantha Gan

Had A very Hard Time.. But, Thank God!!

2009-07-19T04:54:00.000-07:00

3weeks ago.. my daddy tell me that he dream for a year already that he will have a big accident regards to the car..
the dream become clear and clear since almost dream it everyday...
last week he dream again.. he realise my daddy,mummy and 2more kids is in the car...
as we assume is my sister marris and brother shannon...
i had beeen worried for a week and cant sleep...

Last 2week on Thursday,
i finally tell my 2sisters about that bad news(father dream)
because i really cant handle it by myself.. by keeping it all in my heart..
it was really a hard feeling until i get angry easily that few day!
Sorry to them... (the one that i scream at them)
AnD, i also have to worried alot for my 1st sis... (all the messy stuff)
Also, my 3rd sister Visa stuff..
Importantly, on the monday i have my ACT test...
all this stuff come all over to me..
And, my aunt call me go work for her on Friday
(the day after i tell my sisters about the bad news)

On friday, i also in bad mood de la... i willing to help my aunt that's y i promise her..
But, tell truth i really get mad on that day..
My aunt aspect i know everything when she didnt teach me anything..
except how to pack for the salad...
she just callme go out and serve customers..
the cashier stuff is all my 1st sister teach me before this..
if not i dont really know what to do lo..
And, she still wanna call my Lily aunt...
complain that i slow & dont know how to serve people..
Actually i really dont know what she wan from me.. always compare me with my sister...
I know she like my sister.. but is just because u only know her before you go to USA..
Doesnt mean u can alwaystalk bad about me wat...
i didnt fight back doesnt mean u are right la...
just i dont wan to fight with you only... cause you are my aunt.
Aiya... why change topic liao de... haiz.. too "gek hei" when talk about her..
cause is real ma... how can aunt talk bad about her niece... infront of me somemore...
And, even i really that bad as my aunt she should help me out not make it more worst..
but, sometimes she really did help out something...

So happy...

2009-07-14T05:32:00.000-07:00

I HAD FAILED FOR MY aCT READING TEST FOR 4x le....
LOOK LIKE VERY BAD LUCK right? And, Memalukan Saja...
Not only u uys wil feel that... everytime i failed i really feel malu and sad actually...
i never fail my test before...
But, since i came here... i failed for so many time...
and all is english course... Toefl & ACT... SO angry!!
LAST aCT IS ON THE fALL 2008...
mY fall 2008 aCT test I had a 58 AND the passing SCORE is 70...
its was so hard... cause i have almost 5 essays about the USA history...
Ai... how come i said i'm happy le?
hehe... i retake it this summer for a 6weeks course...
in this 6 week i will be given 2chance to take the test...
the first test was yesterday...
guess what...
i use for one and half hour finish finish it...
the computer suddenlly pop-up a screen & ask how much preparation i do...
oh my god, i just did 5essays... usually 5 essay and out...
is either sure pass or sure fail...
i answer the question as "somewhat"...
when i press ok... my result is printing out of the printer..
i was so scare...
when i walk through the girl who incharge of the test... she said i PASS!!!
i was so exiting.. i faster go take a look on my result sheet...
guess what i saw?
haha... i passed... with not only 70... but 87..
Unbelievable right?
And the most happy moment is that... i'm out of the class...
i no need attend the rest of the class...
i will have a big holiday until SEPT so happy!
paid for 800 just for a 3weeks class... haiz..
the rest of the class day no need go...
dont know is good or not? haha...
waste money.. but, its oklar.. Passed mah!
By the way, thanks alot to my professor...
friends.. and most important is FAMILY...
Thanks..

something wrong....

2009-07-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday one of my friend call me...
when i chat with him..
actualy i think something wrong happen to him but i dont know what..
in between, when we chat...
he suddenlly ask me that if he "si oi" with me will i accept?
i dont know how to answer... i stay for few second..
and i said yes.. maybe i will!
i think probably my answer scare him liao lo... (If really scare you then sorry ya...)
AnD, he ask me why?
actually i really dont know how to answer his question...
i think maybe is because i like his caring way ba...
anything happen also suport me.. happy or sad also there for me.. hehe!
make me feel everything so easy and comfortable..
i really dont know how to say it out to him...
At the end, he said no need answer if is hard for me...
haha.. make me thinking about it for a day... Haiz..
ai.. really know me very well...
what he said is right.. i really went to sleep for the whole day..
but i did do my assignment also la... hehe!
Although i dont know what happen to you...
And, i know you wont tell me also!
but, i will always here for you ya...

Touchful... Thanks alot...

2009-07-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

last week i had an interview for the API Tutor job...
the people who incharge told me that i need references from my professors...
My professors have to recommend me for he tutor job...
I was so worried for that week...
I sent out email to some of my professor..
I really so touch when they replymy email and said that they remember good student everytime...
Thanks alot.. i really dont think so tht those prof. will remember me actually!
i also dont know that they are willing to help me and call up to the API tutor centre....
just to help me and recommend me... thanks alot!!
i really dont know what to say to them when they sent me a reply and
said "they have help me do everything and call me to sent them a reply see whether i did hired or not..."
tis is really important for me actually... trust from professor is imporant from all others stuff..
eventhough IF i did not hired for the tutoring job..
I will always remember those professors who had help me...
Tell truth after i came to New York i realize no one trust me for doing anything even family sometimes think that i'm lie...
But, now only i know there are someones else who trust on me... instead of my family members..
Thanks for them who trust on me... now i full of energy to continue my life and stay here..
Although i know everything will be hard for me to achievemy goal but i will try and not let myself to regret..

Regards,
Samatha Gan.

3 July 2009

What i'm worry right now?

2009-06-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

this few day work until so tired.. thought the manager find a place for me to put all the stuff is good since before this all the stuff is put in different place..
now they do give me a place...
But, i have take all the heavy stuff in out and up down to the basement..
make me have more job lagi... haiz!
some more i scare to go down to basement lo.. alot rats down there especially early morning!
i'm the only one there...
some more i think maybe later i gonna cook somethin special out for the sales...
nowdays business really bad lo! i wan to find something easy to cook.. hehe!
plan to cook some sausage, sunnyside and scremble eggs...
extra food can attact more people come...
Actually i really enjoy working alone although have more stuff to do... hehe!

Next, i busy go to the bank now.. haiz! wait for the claim(wallet lost)...
i had a claim from last month until now lo... now also July le... still wait...
the bank said have to investigate wor...
First time go police station lo... haiz!

Third le,
i think is my interview lo...
i had an interview last week for a tutor job in campus...
but they need references from professor...
i dont know how to have the references ready actually...
the Professor said have to give them by this week... haiz.. Fan lah!

Fourth,
my aunt gonna buy a new house... now borrowing the loan stuff...
i gonna find another house..
actually i can rent from another aunty de...
but now have to wait for this aunty see how first lo...
but, for sure have to pay more rent la...

Fifth,
I have to work on my third sister visa stuff...
i have help her make a student visa so that she can stay here legally..
takes time too lo...

Sixth,
Most importantly is... I have my ACT test next week (13July)...
i had failed this test for 4 times lo.. repeat the course for the second time now...
This session have 2 chance to take the test.. next week is the first time...
i Must pass lo this time... gonna study hard..
if this time i pass... then i no need go the rest of the class.... hehe!
Then i can take rest in home until fall course(10Sept)...
So, help me pray pray lo... haha!
this week have to sleep more... eat healthy food... do more exercise..
Not less practice my ACT test lah ofcourse...

Wow... I thought not much stuff to worry de at beginning...
now only know quite alot actually...
Hiaz... what to do.. life is fill with problems...
Settle some of my problems before but suddenlly have so much stuff pulak... haiz!
Just work hard lo... Gambathe Samantha... Go Go Go!!!!

My Intro Of Business Course Presentation...

2009-06-23T11:06:00.001-07:00

I had promise u guys to post up my Intro Of Business Presentation right?
Not so good... Dont laugh ya...
Give some comment pls...

Happy Belated Father's Day

2009-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry to my daddy actually...
i really too tired that day...
Tell truth i really forgot about father's day...
sorry for that.. i was too tired so went to sleep at 1.30pm...
actually i did call my sister to wake me up at 6pm la...
but she didnt call me up.. she said i look so tired so didnt wake me up....
so ridiculus actually... cause i sleep for the whole day... from 1.30pm to 5.45am...
so crazy! but i really feel so good... Full of energy.. haha!
Anyway... here to wish my daddy happy belated father's day...
Although i have been 2 years didnt celebrate with u but you will always in my heart...
Miss you...
I will take good care of Felicia and Heidi here...
And, also will take very good care of myself... Dont worry about me!

Love you,
Samantha Gan.

Funny stuff... last month! finally post it up.. hehe!

2009-06-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Last month i went to Mahathan around 42st...
i saw something interesting...

this guy so cool... very porpular de...
haha... porpular as a duck... haha!

not really a duck la... but...

he received money just to let people touch lo... kiss too if the guy wan to!

haha... The most funny stuff in the middle of the road also have alot of people go for it...

new york really a free place... i think he earn alot money lo...

Wanna see?

My cooking not bad k.. delicious dish le... haha!

2009-06-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

actually i cook more than 5dish.. but didnt take pictures...

cause finish before i come... haha!

anyway.. the most delicious cook is...

1st dishes: clam (la la) - a spicy calm with nice color sauce... haha!

2nd: Look Like egg right? actually is Korea Pancake... Abit burnt but still good!

I'M BacK from Test... yeah.. freedom is back!

2009-06-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

what FREEDOM?
haha.. alot!
freedom of playing computer...
freedom of sleep...
freedom of watch movie...
freedom of eat goreng goreng stuff....
freedom of eating MAGGIE actually... haha!
freedom of drinking all different kind of Soda....
freedom of going on you tube and My BloG....

Now, all my freedom are back cause finish test... haha!
~So GOOD!!!~

You know... yesterday finish test actually i plan to go home sleep de lo...
cause i really so so so tired... BUT..

at the end... hey guys, guess what i do?
haha... i finish test around 7 pm but i sleep at 11pm lo...
what did i do within the 4 hours? haha...

let's open a quiz and see who the smartest person!!!

I gonna tell u guys the answer in the next post!! haha....

with the picture lagi... haha...
GOOD LUCK... :-)

Regards,
Samantha Gan...

Today statistic test 4...

2009-06-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

My test today was supper hard....
yesterday i read book until 1 something...
i get everything before the test.. but...
when i see the question... all my mind gone...
all the solution that i remember yesterday all gone in a seconds..
so bad.... i hate! wed start my final...
My statistic sure get B- or C+...
CIS also i think only can get B....
BUsiness law... worst... C- also dont know can or not...
Intro of Business... i think probably C...
Oh My God... i think if i add into My 3.5 GPA....
My GPA gonna be around 2.5.... Die la...
How i gonna to transfer to Queens College...?
how to handle my test on wed? and also thursday...
more than 20chapter waiting for me to memorize...
feel like wanna cry now.. (*_*)

Mo Yuen... appreciate u as a friend ba!

2009-06-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

today only i know that he had waited me for 2 years...
but now... all have change!
maybe he is just lie to me or real ba...
maybe is just my problem...
if i didnt reject him before.. maybe we are together now...
maybe fate ba...
because of scare to start a relation therefore i stop it...
now when i see his relation with his gf... is really jealous lo...
today if he didnt tell me... actually i really think that he hate me before lo...
this few days... so happy that can chat with him... last year when i see him back..
actually i also kind the scare to face him...
we didnt chat for few years lo... is all because of he lost all his phone contact...
me le... think that he angry so didnt find him...
after few years only chat with him.. realize that he is still same as before...
a guy that like to make me smile... haha..
actually happy to have a friend like that too!
thanks for him lo... this few days if not u temen me...
i think i bored like crazy liao!
next time go back sure find u out ya...
but, this time cant always say those stuff to me le wor... haha!

suddenlly miss someone...

2009-05-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

i also dont know why today miss him so much.. wanna msg him but... i cant!
i surpose to concentrate in study now.. not to think about others...
dont know when i start to miss him... think of him...
and scare that i will disturb him...
is that i already start to care for him.. and also start to like him?!
kind of scare... how if one day i realise that i fall in love him?
should i tell him?

Father's Birthday coming!

2009-05-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

Haiz...
this year really bad... so many things happen..
Mother's day present also mummy cant really see it all...
now father birthday coming... present also not yet sent it out...
busy until dont even have time to buy...
at the end, i just brought a card...
but, also not yet write a stuff in it!
thought my 2 sisters can help me...
they more lazy than me...
the phone bill also want me to write check and sent it out...
card also i'm the one who go buy... now, i'm the one who have to create it!
haiz... test on next week... dont even read it yet... wednesday also dont know how!
daddy birthday on the 31May... if i sent it out tomorrow also will be late...
i think i have to make all stuff done by today ba...
haiz..!

This morning lagi lar...
i kena "air panas " for 2 times...
is a super boiling water...
my leg and hand all red...
i think together better dont go out so much...

chat with someone...

2009-05-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

chat with someone today... i think he should have alot of worries now ba...
here to wish him always be happy...
i will always here for u if u wanna share something with me...
although i always brings u problems and questions but..
i think u already used to it wan right?
so many years liao lok... haha!

maybe now is my turn to care for u...
miss you too!
take care ba..
when free remember callme lar...
this time dont said i didnt inform u that...
leave voice mail if cant callme!
if not say my fault again... (*-*) Bad PiG!!

Regards,
Samantha Gan

i think life had changes!

2009-05-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

i think all my bad luck gone half!
is that the sun start to arise?
haha... happy!
today prof. said we will have a test next wed. on chapter 8 and 9 for the statistic class!
i think this is the time for me to get back some marks!
at least i think 95% ba... is kind the easy for both of that chapter...
AnD, just now my manager callme and said that he will take off for 3 days...
so, i can take my time while working! haha...
also, he told me that he already lay off the guy that work with me!
haha.. kind de happy! cause he always buli and talk bad about me lar!
but, sometimes he did help me too! Dont care lar..
yesterday presentation also very good lar consider!
AnD also the money that the thieves took from my cards... i can claim it!
the bank assistant help me done everything liao!
wait for a week than a letter will come said about the claim...
Kind the happy that everything go smooth in this week..
hope my final grade wont drop because of the test that i took last few weeks la...
GPA pls dont drop... if drop then die lo...
Should be ok ba! Go Go Go...

Gambathe Samantha... :-)

presentation day!

2009-05-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

I just finish up my presentation for my business class!
it was so.. kind the up and down!

when i heard people presentation i think that they was bad and maybe some are worst than me!
when my turn...
haha...
it was just mess up at the beginning!
after a minutes.. all my nervous gone just like that!
at the end it was just perfect!
happy to see that..
even the prof. also dont have any comment about my presentation...

and actually they took video too!
so, when the prof. give us the copy i try to upload to here ya!
haha... actually i dont really remember everything of all my presentation...
it was just LIVE! haha...
what a crazy gal...

what a lazy day!!!

2009-05-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

yesterday so good! i fall aslepp around 8pm..

when i awake it was 12midnight..

i surpose to memorize my stuff but i fall asleep! haiz....
tot wanna do it today...

after my math class i went to library..
tot wanna do but...

at the end i watch youtube until crazy liao!

perhaps went to my technology class prof. cancel the class...
therefore i can went home early and read it now..
but, i'm abit lazy also..

therefore i come to BLOGGER lo... hahahaha....

such a lazy pig! haha...

ok ba... i had promise someone to upload more pictures here..

here you go....

CuT my hair today...

2009-05-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

just cut my hair.. but lazy post the pictures...

i post two first ya... give comment!

have to do presentation handout now...

cant post...

i will post all next week ya..

take care!

Really That Bad LuCk Mah Me? When it Stop?

2009-05-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

How come this MOneth so many bad luck stuff happen de?
Test die already..
Wallet also lost in college... All debit cards, ATM card, college ID, money, other stuff is gone...
the people who take my wallet still wanna take few hundreds out from my acoount...
and my sister(heidi) card also in my wallet.. the people also took $80 out from her account!
i have to report to college security.. apply the College ID for a replace... cards for replace!
Thought is bad enough.. yesterday test lagi die.. some more is statistics.. math also bad liao!
then today, the boy that work with me go give basi punya milk to party customer...
i think later the manager will come and yell at me!
then, the hotel manager told us that next monday the hotel will close our breakfast to rebuild it...
really all bad luck stuff come and come!
Dont know that the manager will call us to stop work or not cause the hotel build for a month!
then, i want to interview for the college job but 2 weeks already also no time go...
later have to go, just in case i need work!
dont know how about later interview with my counselor...
This month really alot stuff happen.. when it stop actually?
someone told me that after rain the sunshine will come and turn brightly...
BUT, WHEN?
how come all come in same time?
I always said that "tomorrow will be better"...
but now... day come worst and worst...

MY test was so hard...

2009-05-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

OMG... is i gain bad in math or is i in bad mood or i has a bad luck leh?
how come my statistic test so hard? haiz... scare cant score!
Yesterday wanna study but busy with applying a new college id,assignment...
reach home read but fall asleep!
awake at 2am only realize that i fall asleep... have to sleep cause 4.50am have to wake up...
perhaps in the way going to work(in the subway train) i read the math...
and also after work for maybe 15minutes..
but, how come during the test i forgot everything?
maybe too tired... really not enough sleep and rest..
now in the library also have to finish up my essay for 6page long and a power point presentation.
tomorrow have to pass it up the essays... next tues have to present my Power Point...
So tired!

Very very bad luck yesterday!!!! BaD!

2009-05-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

Last 2days my sister calme help her to put money in the bank...
therefore i put it into my wallet...
yesterday when i go to work morning, i wait for 30 minutes only the operator informed that there is no train going local..
make me walk for 15minutes to another stop to walk.. late for 5minutes...
cause i run only reach early if not... somemore have a big party running at 6.30am...
when everything ready.. i found out there is no more coffee cup...
i have to run out and buy...
i realize the money that my sister give to me is in my wallet so i put it into my bag first!
when i go to i remember that i have test at 5.45pm... but i free after 3pm..
when i free i went to library to borrow books...
after borrow book i feel like wanna pee... so left all my bag in the library!
i only take out my wallet to go bathroom.
when i go in bathroom i still trying to inform my self that dont forgot take my wallet...
but, after i pee i just went out to wash my hand!
after i wash my hand only i remember about my wallet... when i back to that bathroom...
there's a black girl come out and my wallet i lost!
i faster go to her and ask about it...
cause not mistaken after i went in she the one who go in to...
but she said she just went in...
i run to the security but at the end also no... they callme wait for people to return..

when i go home i also dont know how to tell my sister cause her card is in my wallet also!
all my credit card,college id,money,stuff that my mum give to me also inside the wallet...
i went back to the library is around 3.45pm...
i cant really read a stuff cause i keep on thinking my wallet... scared.. cry!
after that, i realize already 4.20pm... i try to concentrate to my book and faster read my book!
perhaps, i get 96% in my test...

thought my bad luck already gone..
so after i went home, i call the centre and cancel up my card...
i realize today that my sister and my card are pending out an amount of money....
is that really i still in bad luck..?
now in the library also dont know what can i do! so angry and no mood actually...
dont even know what i'm doing!!! wasting time now.. tomorrow have statistic test....
wanna study now but cant go into my brain, that's why i go to write blog...

Tired... When can i take a rest?

2009-05-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

So tired this few months... so much stress.. cant really breath sometimes!
how can all this stuff happen at a same time and wont stop until now...
cant even tell and share with someone is really hard...
when i at malaysia i still candle my feeling when i keep all the scret and thing in my heart...
but, since i came to USA is was really turn bad!!
i really hate that feeling...
i dont wan tell people about my stuff and this make me feel even more stress and fan...

On the mother's day, i had make a slide show for my mummy.
when i sent it to them, they cant really open it...
therefore i use a stupid method and it really make my mum saw it...
but, mu mum cant hear what i say in the slide.. so i say it again through msn with the slide open...
i think i can handle my feeling that time..
but, at the end... i really cry i front of the computer while the last slide is presented..
i really weak!!!i dont want my mom to worried about me and sisters who came back US...
but, i failed!i still wanna tell my mum that is the computer hang cause i cant really continue...
At last, imake my mum cry also!
although i know that is happy cry but i this really mix me up now!!!

Really so tired.. i only sleep for 4 hours for this 2 weeks...
have to go wake up at 4.45am and work at 6am...
have to go school... And i have test on this 2 weeks also!
really cant even relax although i watch movie or listen to songs...
drink coffee (start drink when i came to USA) to stay up...
So BAd...
When i can sleep like before this? when i happy be more relax compare to now?

i miss my family so much...

when we will back to before?

dont know when we will take another picture like this....

Perhaps i call my mummy and daddy take a picture like that before i came to USA...

If not wanna have some memory also cant!

Mother's Day CoMinG!

2009-05-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

HAppy Mother'S Day to all mother...
this week have to find my mummy and chat.. hehe!
i sent stuff to my family last year for all the celebrations but..
my mom said very hard to said our house direction to the guy... Haiz...
this year she call me not to send anything to them.. SaD!!
i miss them so wanna sent something to them to show that i care alot to them but my mummy...

My mum and dad said save the money is better to sent something back..
And, they know i'm good enough wo.. (sang sing) haha...! :-)
so this saturday have to call back or chat in msn with them....

My test all is fit into this few weeks.. And i had just accept a big group of party (60 people) for this 2 weeks... so tired.. today also feel lazy wakeup! just now almost fall asleep while working...

Haiz.. still have to tahan for 2 weeks... scare later look like panda! (@_@)
hope this saturday my mum didnt realize about that... hehe!

oklar.. talk until here lar!
cause i have to finish up five assignment that have to pass it up later and next week..
see the assignment also lazy liao! haiz...

OMG...! :-(

2009-05-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

aiya... yesterday it was my business law test lar.. it was so hard!
come out about contract for the essay question... perhaps i read abit before that topic..
but, i cant remember what i read le.. Haiz!
last minutes work is like that.. "phun tong sui"

But how come i went out from room around 45minutes?
for 26multiple choice and 2 essays... fast?
haha..
I can say but dont laugh ya...

It is because...
because...

Erm....

my uncle call me before the test and said....

he said that...

after test go to his house for STIMBOAT PARTY to celebrate MOTHER"S DAY!!!

haha.. so hungry mar... i dont eat for one whole day so ofcourse will do my test fast...

Because my food is waiting for me! hehe...
Joking lar... that's one of the reason...
the another reason is that i dont really know what to write for my essays la...
objective questions i also dont know whether right or wrong!

Haiz... just pray to have better result! :-)

Today Test!!! Business Law?

2009-05-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

what a hard course for me!
And i have a test for it at 6pm!!! :-(
last time i almost fail for my test...
this time have to workhard. BUT,

what i'm doing now?
hahahaha...

me? I'm doing nothing now in my computer lab...
play facebook game and see some respone from my friends in this Blogger and also in facebook!

Such a lazy Pig! hehe...

ehh, let me open a question for u guys...
Should i cut my hair short?
is this hair good for me?

Give me some idea pls...
Wait for u guys reply ya...

should it be happy or not? what a stupid thinking!!

2009-05-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

actually it should be happy of hearing someone "P" say i love u to me ...
but i dont know why i feel different...
i know he is care for me alot but i always think that we will not "hoi fa kit kor"...
we are far apart... after few year no one know what will happen...
why he still so care to me?
i kind of stupid right? he didnt really tellme that he like me but i go think so many stuff...
is that because i like him? i also dont know...
who can really give me an answer?

Findlah, i have said before that i wont think about it anymore...
In Between,
i think probably the "D" will come today...
i finally can settle this stuff...
hope he will really understand and get it all clear after today! :-)

Lesson Learnt: Say no to something that will slow down ur GoaL ! ! !

2009-04-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, i have learnt a lessons from my professor.
He remind me that, we should have a fix of mind about ur aim or goal!!!
NOT to make our goals achieve late than what we plan!
Thanks for his remind.

I have thinking of it for a day...
At last i have a clear mind!

Therefore:

Start from today,
I will start up again my new life here.
I will not waste my time again by dreaming of something.
I will try very hard to get something that i want within this 4 years.
I will not to think about "love" anymore.
I will not waste my time by relaxing, watch movie and play games as much as before this.

I have deleted everything from my mind.
I will not remember anyone or anything that might and will spoil my goals!
Although i might hurt you and myself but sorry...
I dont want to waste my time anymore by thinking of you!
Hope you understand my position now.
Maybe time can really proof our fate.

Take care dear. Miss you.

so scare!!

2009-04-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

Oh My GOD!!!
my aunt tell me this morning that the 'D' said he wanna breakup with his gf..
is that because of me? really dunno!
if yes.. what can i do?
so scare... how can it be like that de...
i really dunno this thing will happen!
i really dont know he will do that!
he dint tellme yet cause i dint see him after that day..
now.. i hope that he is not really doing it.
i really scare that one day he come to me
and tellme that he broke up with the gal and he wan me!
really hope it wont happen!
pls... help me pray pray ya friends...

such a lazy day..

2009-04-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

yesterday feel sick so went to sleep at 5pm until 11.30pm..
hear my mum voice and make me awake! miss her voice so much..
wanna find them chat but not free.. when i free they didnt online!
So bad.. After talk with them.. i talk with my 2ma until 1am...
then sleep at 1.30am... what a lazy day... time past just by an hour by hour!
Dont even do my homework at all...
when i awake today, after bath suddenlly miss my little husband!
dunno how is him at malaysia..
maybe time can really proof everything!
this the time for the god to help us follow up our fate ba...
nothing much can think de...

Yesterday, my 2ma said she will help me introduce to her worker friends...
her worker is 21years old.. hers gang all also rich and high class people..
hope can really know them! not because of money($$$$) lah ofcourse!!!
Is for networking la...
so that next time when i really need help or anything maybe they can help me.
other than that, most important is i really to have some friends in USA.
always stay in house,work,talk or chat with cousin is really not so good!
sometime i dont really can share something with them! kind da bad.

let i show my mummy,eldest sister(felicia),3th sister(heidi) picture...

I'm not there... haiz... u know why?

Cause i'm the one who take the picture.. HAHA!!

I'm BacK... (.)

2009-04-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

hey?
welcome back to my blog...
miss u all so much..
time past so fast.. now is 2009!
how's my life going now?
actually i'm consider good.
study in LaGuardia Community College in Long Island,
work in a hotel for the breakfast.. not bad oO...
at least can survive and pay for my college fees lah...
sometime also can send some money back to my family...
consider good lah...
Do u think i'm happy?
what do u think friends?

this few days alot of stuff going to me.
wanna transfer to better college but need to pay 50% extra.
wanna apply for the US Id and Social Security No. need alot document...
Id should be ok by tomorrow la but SSN is hard...
have to work for the college only they will help me apply for it.
Have to worry about both of my sisters too!
In addition, have to "fan" about love stuff...
(Dont know how to reject people) AND (Dunno who i really love)
Haiz... this question really harder than my SPM test...
Maybe time can really tell me all the answer ba... hope so!

Dont talk about that,
we start about my friends in Malaysia AnD CpRians GaLs...
How's u guys now?
Study? working? Or Doing nothing now?
hope to get a reply from you about ur life now...

i will have more post coming soon instead of friendster blog!
Therefore, wait for my next coming post ya!
Take Care.